Dear Oliver,
How are you? I hope life’s being kind to you and taking you on some interesting adventures.
At the time of writing this I’ve still not heard from you, but I have no idea if it’s because you don’t want to reply, or haven’t even had the chance due to your mother not allowing you to know I’ve been in touch.
Today is Fathers Day here in the UK (probably Spain too).
I’ve thought about you every day of your life, but on Fathers day the thoughts have always been turned up to 11 in my mind.
Your mother and I broke up 19 years ago last week. One week before Fathers Day 2005.
Probably not the best one my own dad ever had.
Getting over a breakup doesn’t often leave people in the best of moods, and it was a challenging day to be happy when I realised I wasn’t going to get the be the dad of a family of my own.
But I soon got through it, with his support. And moments like that are why I’ve always wanted to be there for you. To be the one that could see you through life’s little challenges.
Unfortunately, due to how many other people were involved, it became clear I might not have been your true biological parent.
Even now after all these years I still haven’t had the chance to find out. Imagine the torment of being blocked from knowing the truth for all those years.
It’s almost like serving a mental prison sentence.
Some men don’t survive that kind of torture inflicted on them by an ex, but I was one of the lucky ones.
It’s really up to you now to see if we can get that answer.
In a way I can kind of understand it if your mother is still blocking our communications. It can’t be easy for her to think of you having any connection with me. I get that. She wants to protect you and keep you for herself at the same time.
I think all parents have similar motives.
I’d never try and break any bond between you and your mother.
All I’m hoping will happen is that some day you and I can find a chance to learn about each other, find out who we are as people and maybe I can be of assistance if and when you need the kind of support only a bio dad can really offer.
Take care and I look forward to one day hearing from you.
This letter is part of the ‘Oliver MustoWhat’s the Story’ Series