It was Easter weekend 2005. After a lazy morning, I had gone to the kitchen to start making some breakfast. I had no idea about what was about to happen next…
Your mother walked in and announced quite abruptly “I’m pregnant”.
When it comes to surprise announcements, that one scored a clean 10/10.
It wasn’t like she had even given me any kind of a heads-up. Often times in relationships when this could be a possibility a woman may say something like “I’m late, should we do a test?”
But no. I wasn’t kept in the loop, until it was official.
I’m actually impressed as to how I reacted to the news.
I’ll be honest and admit there have been many times in my life when I’ve received news that falls at either the extremely good or extremely bad end of the scale, and I haven’t dealt with it as well as I should at the time.
On this occasion though, I felt calm and positive. This is GOOD news, surely?
We went out for the day to take a walk, get some fresh air and give ourselves some time to process this moment.
By the end of the day, everything was looking good.
We went to find your grandmother (your Mums’ mum, not mine) to tell her the news. We were together and it was an amazing moment.
The following day, it was time to tell my parents that I was going to be a dad, and they would be grandparents.
This moment went differently though.
It was basically a case of “Go and tell your parents, and I’ll see you later” from your mother.
She had no intention of going with me. And that to me is a sign that something was off. It stirs something in your gut when people behave unexpectedly.
Why would she not accompany me to do the same as we had done the day before with her mother?
I’ve always believed it was because she didn’t have the guts to look my parents in the eyes knowing that she had not acted in good faith. Maybe while I was busy, she was off telling the other guy/s the good news?
Observe peoples actions, not their words.
It’s easy for some people to lie, but they give themselves away during events like this.
And this was one of the moments that led to everything later unravelling.
One wish I have for you is that you never go through anything similar.
Find someone that sticks by you. Someone whose actions back-up their words.
Everybody lies, but most people tell small, white lies that are meant to spare the feelings of the people we care about. The people you need to be aware of are those that are using lies to further their own agenda and don’t care if they hurt you.
This letter is part of the Oliver Jack MustoWhat’s the Story Series
