There are many unfathomable secrets in this universe. Some people wonder about what awaits us after this mortal life is over. Others dream of the far reaches of space, or what lies at the bottom of the ocean. Only one thing truly intrigues me. And that is – exactly what the truth is with one of my ex’s, her son and the chances of me being his biological father.
This is because of ‘Causal Determinism’. Humans are hard-wired to need answers. As it was once said – “The cave man who heard a rustle in a bush and went to check it out, lived longer than the one that ‘assumed’ it was just a breeze”.
And by extension, I also wonder what tales she may have spun to the child in question. Because, unless she has had an extreme change of personality over the years, it’s almost certainly not going to be the truth. She wasn’t particularly good at ever telling the truth.
Tell a lie once, and all your truths become questionable
The reason I am left in a state of limbo like this is that the ex in question was never particularly good at honesty.
She couldn’t make it through a single day, sometimes even less, without speaking some level of untruth. She weaved a multi-coloured tapestry with layer-upon-layer of lies until she tangled herself up in knots. That’s what made it so easy to spot them.
I never really understood why she did this. Maybe she felt the need to punish me (and maybe every man she met) for the hurt she had been put through in her youth – you know, ‘Daddy-issues’ and the like? Or maybe she just enjoyed the feeling of power that came with having affairs and hiding the truth?
It doesn’t really matter I guess. One thing I learnt from my time with her though, is that if you build a life based on untruths, then at some point, it will all come crumbling down.
Dishonesty and betrayal always starts with small secrets that grow into big lies
In the 20th century, and almost all centuries before, a woman at 40 years of age, with two children by different fathers, not married to either father, and with a line of prior suitors so long it would rival the queue for auditions on X-factor, would be regarded as a ‘bad apple’.
But we live in modern times, and the various ways in which people live now are more accepted. It doesn’t matter as much about your age, achievements, status etc. We can all be what we want to be, do what we want to do.
Personally, “I loathe weddings and their seven-levels of hypocrisy” – (Dr. Gregory House).
So not being married by any age is fine by me.
